Rabbit holes and guns Pt2

Artie’s was a bust. Totally. I’d feel sorry for the guy if I’d ever met him. We went there and were greeted by the famous blue lights and police cordon. And a mass of people around a community housing thing. We only stuck around for long enough to confirm our fears: “Someone” had gone on a rampage inside the building and there were a couple dead. They talked about how there’d been a shooting. Needless to say, we didn’t believe in coincidences this time.

So, time for the next plan, it was. Past time, actually. We decided to head back to the office and check up on our three dead bodies – why the fuck did we decide to just leave them lying around there anyway? I mean, we didn’t even call the cops, or an ambulance or…on the other hand, I don’t think the cops in this town, not even in the fancy office part, could deal with Lance. This town’s seen it’s share of psychos, but I’m not sure if I remember it ever having this scale.

Back to the building, up the stairs (the power was still cut). 33 floors. Let me tell you, elevators always have given me the creeps, but running 33 floors after Shaun (who didn’t even seem that winded when we finally got there) sucked big time. So did the fact that the bodies weren’t there.

So we looked, and found them in our office, very much alive. In fact, so alive that they’d barricaded the door and we had to talk them, reassure them that we were us, and lie to them (I told them I’d love to give them their drugs back) in order for them to open the door.

They were still totally zoned out, with big bandages over their heads and whatnot, but definitely talking.

Yeah…turns out they apparently had taken a sip of the coke bottle, and hence they don’t die quite as easily. Go figure. And I think I’m starting to figure them out, on a human basis, I mean. Just imagine you were this big-ass guy in the middle ages, with a round table, and women all over you, and you generally being the hotshot and all just because you’re a knight and you’re hanging with Artie. And you’ve sworn a Holy Oath (Dirk said, God seemed a lot more present in those days) to find and defend the Grail. And you find the fucking thing. And it makes you invincible. Cool, eh?

Yeah, except..then you don’t get to play with it, you don’t get to put it back, you don’t get to do anything — because you were Chosen to watch it. For a couple of years, that goes swell, there’s Party every night…but you rarely leave your castle. Your weapons rust, ’cause what would you fight for? You’re safe, the Grail is safe.

Then all the dying starts. Your parents probably were dead anyways (died like flies in those days), but your siblings, your wive(s), your hookups, your favourite cook. They all die of old age. And maybe, just maybe, the villagers don’t feel so swell about an unageing King in their midst. As well as Knights. And maybe, just maybe, you got a little rusty in those days of partying. So you probably leave your shiny castle and go somewhere remote to protect the Grail. Maybe Avalon? I don’t know. And then, History happens. First, your cool empire gets sacked by bandits, and then gets turned into some weird semi-republic. And then the world wars. And the hunger crises. And I don’t know what went on between 800 and 1600 but it can’t have been nice, else I’d have heard about it. And then your weapons become irrelevant because of world wars and bullets.

I mean, I probably wouldn’t choose to just spend my days on drugs just because the world sucks, I have nothing to do all day, and I feel like life fucked me over big time just because I signed on for a quest a couple thousand years ago. Probably. But I can definitely understand the guys, ya know?

So yeah, back to the story. From what they told us, they usually wake back up with leaking heads and probably short a few of their remaining brain cells. Lance had gone by that point, so they decided a base is a base and set up in our offices. “And then those guys from downstairs came over and asked for you.” What? “Yeah, there were three guys, in the offices below, and they said they wanna talk to you. We didn’t know where you were, so we told em nope, but here you are.”

At which point I’d love to say we politely thanked the knights, cooked them a cup of tea and didn’t storm downstairs like madwomen, but, yeah.

Still no sign of Eddie or Shaun, btw.

So Lianne told me the firm below us did “something with IT”. We rang their doorbell, and they had power! Actual electricity! They opened the door and we got to talking. One of ’em was named Tucker, I don’t remember the other names. We’ll probably meet them again, or I’ll ask one of the others.

Get this: They’d been spying on us. Yeah, us as in Planet Motherfucker. Slowly I’m beginning to think that just about everyone in this town has more of a clue as to what’s going on than we do. But first let me tell you what they told us.

There’s a lot of factions in this city. For some reason they called them “Armies” or something. We’re apparently one of them, and our boss is this Weaver guy, that much was very clear. Now they were part of the  “Global liberation front” (for some reason that made me think of the Judaean People’s front from that british movie dad likes to watch when he’s really bored). And they were watching us because they thought we had the grail. Now there’s a bunch of people who are also looking for the Grail. And for some reason we’re the only ones who can find it. Let me see if I can get this straight


  • Global Liberation Front (some kind of Bio/anarcho/computer terrorist guys)
  • New Inquisition — Alex Abel? Able, Eponimus, someone with a Hook hand (wait, do they have something to do with Peter Pan?), a blonde business woman
  • Planet Motherfucker (we don’t know what we’re doing, but for some reason we’re right in the middle of this)
  • Arties gang (they lost the thing in the first place)
  • Lance (because why the hell not?)
  • Probably a lot of people we’ve never even heard about.


The reason why we’re the only ones who can find it, is that Liannes twin sister stole it. She’s apparently called Nimue, and possibly the mother of Mordred. And actually one of the bad guys in this whole thing.

Except, I’m kinda convinced she’s with us all the time, only we can’t see her or talk to her. Well, I can see her, but for that I need to develop my damn pictures. I acutally tried to imagine that I develop a picture while taking it, but that didn’t work — whatever magic is there probably needs a focus thing to work on. Sucks, tbh.

So after we talked to the guys we decided it was high time to get into contact with Nimue, her having the grail and everything. And Lianne said that the last time Eddie got a glimpse of her was in the old sugar factory. So right now we’re on the way there.

It kinda makes me nervous, just the two of us. But Shaun said he was going to “take drugs”, which, if I go by my experience with my dad, will put him out of contact for at least a day. And Eddie just disappeared. And someone around here has to do stuff.



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